Bethany sent me an email titled 9 words women use... It contained the following definitions for a handful of words women commonly use when communicating with their spouse.
Why women give away these secrets, I don't know. Perhaps they aren't meant to be secrets. And as to why we don't attempt to collect and compile these secrets into one massive compendium... well, it's because Google itself couldn't create a searchable collection that would have precise results 100% of the time.
9 words women use
- Fine
- This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
- Five Minutes
- If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
- Nothing
- This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
- Go Ahead
- This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!
- Loud Sigh
- This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
- That's Okay
- This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
- Thanks
- A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
- Whatever
- A women's way of saying, "You suck!"
- Don't worry about it, I got it
- Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.
5 comments:
so true. My mother is a perfect example of that!
Eeeaaaaasssssy Kenneth, I know your Mom and she can be really quiet at night sneaking in your room to pour cold water on you or something...
As for you Barker, nice job on the words have meanings thing. After thirteen years of marriage I still have trouble seeing some of those words coming and I go down THAT road a little too often...Good thing my couch is comfortable.
Welcome to the blogging world!
So this post on "interpretations" is perhaps my favorite blog post of all time, and I was wondering if we could have all the interpretations printed onto a little wallet size card and passed out to every GUY ON THE PLANET. Would that be possible? You see, we're really not that confusing ... especially if you have your little pocket-size interpretation card to guide you.
Melissa,
Let's be honest. This list only scratches the surface. The reference card idea would work for these nine words but women are the most complicated beings to walk the earth. A comprehensive reference would be bigger than the state of Texas and would be in constant revision because there are new rules all the time! (I know this from personal experience.) Not to mention that anything more than about 2 pages front and back would be more than most men could handle. Picture this: some woman (bless her heart) drills her husband about a heated marital issue and then he reaches into his back pocket for the reference and spends over 30 seconds looking for the appropriate response. Would you stick around for his answer or write off the conversation with "Whatever!"? I think we're better off resorting to candy, flowers and honey-do lists.
I'm not going to admit that you're right (that would simply be unnatural), but I'll agree that you have a point. That was a good visual on the argument though. I laughed out loud picturing Dave scrambling for a reference card, and in the meantime, I move on to a whole separate issue that he is in trouble for. Pretty funny!
Let's just keep the flowers and chocolate coming ... and maybe throw in a few guilt-free shopping trips and girls' nights out. We know we're complicated by the way ... it is a source of great pride.
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