A Perfectly-Timed Joke

Yesterday was a really long day at work. Mentally, I was exhausted. For two days, I've been trying to track down the cause of a runtime error related to the strength of an encryption key which was limited by an updated local policy file. I was glad to head home. I traipsed in through the door and walked right into a trap. Belle was waiting for me just around the corner of the wall. She jumped out at the right time and successfully startled me. That NEVER happens. My stunned look quickly turned to a smile. I now have a little practical jokester. She's gonna get it. Actually, I have three and a fourth one in training but yesterday, Belle earned her certificate. It put me in a good mood.

But wait. It gets better. Dinner was ready and on the table and I sat down with the family and ate. After most everyone had finished and left the table, Johnny, who was having seconds, shared a new joke. It was completely unexpected. His library of jokes has consisted of only three which he's worn out over the last year. They are:

1. The repetitive knock-knock joke involving a series of bananas and an orange.
2. How do you fix an angry ape? With a monkey wrench.
3. Knock-knock. Who's there? Shelby. Shelby who? She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes...

Anyway, his fourth joke is:

Why did Superman go to the supermarket?

Answer:

To get some wonder-wear!

It's only mildly funny now but yesterday it hit the spot! Kids make life so much more fun. Thanks Johnny!

Three plus three equals six!

That's today's math lesson.

If you run out three miles away from home, you have to come back those three miles. On Saturday, that's what I did. I ran six miles in 72 minutes (and 3 seconds). I averaged a 12-minute mile which is not fast at all, but, nonetheless, I did it! There is one part of the run that includes a steep incline and I had to walk that part after the first 20 yards of it just about drained all of my energy. On other shorter runs without going up a steep hill, I have averaged between 10.5 to 11.5 minutes per mile.

It all started with my wife getting up early to run with her friends. Her alarm would go off well before mine. I could rarely fall back to sleep even though I gave it my best efforts. This went on for months, through the fall, the winter, and even in to spring. She ran the Salt Lake City half marathon and did great! The next day at church, a lot of people were talking about it enthusiasticaly and I took notice of it. The buzz about the marathon made me reflect on my personal health and I began to think that neglecting it could one day end in a sad realization. For me, that kicked off some serious thoughts about what I was doing [wrong] and what improvements needed to be made.

I have been running for eight weeks and have come a long way. My first attempt at running ended just short of half a mile (out by the fire department) and I was utterly stunned that I couldn't keep up with the rest of the guys in the group. I walked for a ways and tried running every 150 feet or so but I couldn't run for much after that. It was a long mile and a half.

Never in my life have I thought I would run more than a few miles at a time. But to say that I can run six miles without stopping is so satisfying and feels like such an achievement. My goal is to be able to run 13.1 miles with Bethany next year for the Salt Lake City half marathon.

And since you are reading this, I'm inviting you to run the half marathon too, unless you want to do the full marathon! We can even have a friendly competition to see who's time is faster. Let's say the slowest buys the fastest dinner.

John, Ben and Megan, you're not eligible for this friendly competition 'cause I already know you'll kick my trash!